Her
by FauxPoesFoes
Summary: ONESHOT. Boy, oh boy, you are bad. Logan's thoughts during Show Me the Monkey, so spoilers up to 3x10.


**DISCLAIMER: Rob Thomas owns them, I am just unhealthfully obsessed with them.**

**SPOILERS FOR 3x10!**

**So, this is my first foray into the Veronica Mars world… and I know it could be better, so please review and tell me how it went! Thanks!**

Her lips slide sloppily against mine and I cringe; my eyes are shut tightly in a desperate attempt to pretend. The hair my fingers are lacing through is far too dark and rough; I long for the soft, bright locks that are distinctly _her._ The drunk eyes that stare lustfully at me are dark and dirty, not brilliantly blue and playful like _hers_. Smoke and booze stain my tongue; a stark contrast to the sweet, marshmallow taste of _her._ My nostrils are assaulted with the smell of saltwater, and the absence of _her_ Promises makes me finally pull away and realize that there is no point in pretending. This is not _her_; the girl sitting in front of me is so far from the truth that I quickly wipe my mouth of all of her.

I hear drunken giggling and realize that the no-name girl is saying something. "Boy, oh boy, you are bad."

Well, at least there is something right about this girl; I am definitely bad. In so many ways. Here I am sitting in my car with a random slut when I could have had the real thing if only I hadn't been such a fucking idiot. Now look at me; trying to do the impossible. There was no way to get over Veronica Mars. Hell, if it didn't work the first time, what made me think I could do it now?

More fucking giggling. "Man, I can't believe I just did that with Aaron Echolls' son."

Hearing his name makes me reach across her lap and open the door, giving her a slight shove. I think she's saying something on the other side of the door, but I could honestly care less. I felt dirty and useless; the pain of not having the one girl who knows all about the real Aaron and still wanted me nonetheless. Not some ditz that thought it was exciting to hook up with a movie star's son in a Range Rover. My girl had actually survived the hell that was Aaron Echolls… and so much more. Each kiss from her lips wasn't just given away, but earned through years of friendship, hate and love. No other kiss can compare to the feeling of trust that swelled inside of me each time I was granted access to the strong, yet incredibly broken and jaded Veronica Mars.

Wiping my mouth once again, I rev up the engine and get as far away from that beach as possible. The smell of skank still lingered, and I couldn't help but feel as though I deserved the reminder; a punishment that erased all the sweet Veronica smell away from my car. I smile slightly as I can remember Veronica sitting next to me, mouthing the words to The Ramones that she insisted on playing. Hell, I just can't escape her; there are aspects of her woven into every aspect of my life. It's going to take a whole hell of a lot more skanks to erase her, and this thought drudges up even more nausea.

If I am in this much pain now, how would it have been if I had voted for the second option? If this wasn't unbearable, then I don't know what is. I can't even function as a normal human being anymore. I just go through the motions, each one telling me just how lonely my life is without her in it. She had a way of making everything, right down to grocery shopping, a fun and different experience. I keep finding myself more and more withdrawn, wanting to bite the head off anyone who dares to try to make me smile. I, Logan Echolls, am not a smiley kind of guy and not many things can make me laugh. Only the sarcastic wit of the tiny and adorably annoying blonde one has ever made my smile reach my eyes. My own twisted sarcasm is lost on the bleach blondes Dick throws my way, resulting in yet another reminder of just how unique Veronica is. I need someone in my life to call me on my shit and keep me in line. Without her watchful eye, all my decision making skills go to hell, one skank at a time.

Sitting in the quiet hotel suite, I stare at the television screen, having no idea what is being done or said. The room feels different without her in it; she had spent nearly every day here for over a year, either with Duncan or me. She had always hated the design of the place, joking about the large fish over my bed. I had considered getting myself an apartment or house, but Veronica feared that I couldn't survive without a maid and room service. I never got the courage to tell her that I could easily get over the loss of the domestic staff had she been willing to live there with me. I knew better than to suggest that; Veronica was very careful of our relationship, never wanting to move too fast. Hell, the only time she ever said she loved me was when I asked her and she gave me a hesitant 'yeah.' I knew she has trust issues, and I was willing to wait for her to truly let her guard down and be completely comfortable with me. I just didn't know that her lack of trust and faith in us would cause me to end the only good thing in my life. If I could just go back to having her with me, I would be happy with whatever part of herself she was willing to give. Now I realize that life without Veronica Mars is truly an unbearable pain; one that I inflicted on myself.

The knock on the door sounds painfully familiar, but I won't allow myself to think it's her standing behind it. Frozen, I hear the knocking again and toss the pillow I was clutching aside and pause briefly before opening the door. My breath gets caught in my throat as I see her standing there. The first word that comes to my mind is: beautiful. There she is, standing in all of her perfect Veronica glory, staring longingly at me with her amazing ocean eyes. It is actually _her,_ and I just stare openmouthed at the love of my life whom I haven't touched in six long, excruciating weeks. She shakes her head slightly as if in resignation and sighs. Before I know it, we are both lunging towards each other. I grab hold of her face, pulling her as close as humanly possible. I'm kissing her with everything I have, not breaking contact as I slam the door shut with my foot. This is how it's supposed to be; Veronica is in my arms and I don't plan on letting her go this time. It doesn't matter how we got here, or the amazing struggle it will be to keep it this way. It is _her_ silky blonde hair against my fingers, the sweet taste of _her_ mouth, and the smell of Promises that makes everything okay.

**So, any thoughts? Please review and thanks for taking the time to read this!**


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